Just Take My Money!

So I recently made a purchase at a major retail chain, which will remain nameless. After this experience, I now understand why companies are going out of business. Even when you’re literally trying to put money in their register, they make the whole process drag on to infinitum.

I was attempting to purchase a moderately priced product for around $40-50. When I got to the checkout, my exchange with the cashier went like this:

Cashier: “Did you find everything okay?”
Me: “yep.”
Cashier: “What?”
Me: “”Yes, thank you.”
Cashier: “Um, you need me to help you find something?”
Me: “No, I don’t need your help. Thanks, I found everything I needed (which is why I’m in the checkout and not the customer service desk).”

Cashier: “Do you have a Rewards Card?”
Me: “I don’t think I do.”
Cashier: “Just give me your phone number and I’ll check.”
Me: “Um, sure. 555-2094”
Cashier: “Was that 2096?”
Me: “No, 2094
Cashier: “Oh okay, thanks.”
Cashier: “Hmm, nothing is coming up. Would you like to try another number?”
Me: “No, that’s okay.”

Cashier: “So… would you like to signup for the Rewards Card right now?”
Me: “No thank you, maybe some other time.”
Cashier: “Are you sure? You get the following benefits…blah blah blah blah blah blah.”
[One minute later]
Me: “Thanks, but I’m fine for now.”

Cashier: “I see there’s a service agreement available… Would you like to purchase a 3 year service agreement with your product for $29.99?”
Me: “No thank you.”
Cashier: “”Are you sure? This protects you just in case something happens to your product. Just bring it back and if we can ‘t fix it, we’ll replace it if we still have the item in stock.”
Me: “$30 is pretty hefty for a $40-50 product. Don’t you guys have a 15-30 day return policy already?”
Cashier: “”Yes, but this covers you after the 30 days.”
Me: “Doesn’t the manufacture usually have a 1-2 year warranty too?”
Cashier: “Yes, but they have some limitations. Our service agreement covers any accidents that might happen to your product.”
Me: “What if I purposely destroy my product?”
Cashier: “The agreement doesn’t cover willful acts of destruction.”
Me: “So what’s the difference between willful destruction and an accident?”
Cashier: “… … …”
Cashier: “Umm… so you won’t be purchasing the service agreement then?”
Me: “Yes, that’s correct (I said that 2 minutes ago).”

Cashier: “So you will you be paying with cash, credit, or debit?”
Me: “Debit”
Cashier: “Credit?”
Me: “No, DEBIT!”
Cashier: “Okay, just swipe your card…”
Me: *swipes card and enters pin numbers*
Cashier: “Wait, don’t enter your pin yet. “
Me: “… … … (Why did you tell me to swipe the card then)”
Cashier: “Now enter the pin”
Me: *Enters pin again*
Cashier: “… …. …”
Me: “… … …”
*awkward silence*
[20-30 seconds later]
Cashier: “Approved”

Cashier: “Would you like me to put the product in a bag?”
Me: “No thank you, I’ll just carry it. (Anything so I can just get out of here.)”
Cashier: “Here is your receipt. “
Cashier: “If you’d like, you can goto our website and enter this code on your receipt. It will allow you to take a short 30 minute survey and possibly win $500 worth of store credit on your Rewards Card.”
Me: “I don’t have a Rewards Card…”
Cashier: “Umm, oh yeah… You can still fill out the survey if you want. You just won’t win anything…”
Me: “… … …”
Me: “Honestly I probably wouldn’t win anything anyway even if I had a Rewards Card, right?”
Cashier: “Yeah, probably not…” *nervous chuckle*
Cashier: “Alright, have a good day Mr. Christopoulos”
Me: “You too… (I’ll be praying that you get a new job.)”

Aside from being a little hard-of-hearing, I don’t put much blame on the cashier. The cashier is just a tiny cog following store policy in a big machine. But too many retail stores make the checkout process a literal minefield to get through. Rewards cards, store credit cards, member cards, service agreements, purchase insurance, surveys, blah blah blah. I bet some of these stores would see more revenue if they would just take the money that’s in front of them! No need to frustrate a paying customer at the point of purchase by trying to sucker them into numerous other deals.  A $30 service agreement for a $40 product? Are we for real???

  1. Thanks …
    Merci Beaucoup

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