Archive for the ‘ music ’ Category

Really Bad Music Vol. 1

The other day I was speaking with a friend about the sad state of pop music. We tried to pin-point the artists who were responsible for turning the radio into a bad auto-tune keroke machine.

As you may know, here on The Hater Post, Ke$ha is a popular target. But upon further reflection, I realized she is merely a spoke in the large wheel of bad music.

So I decided to start a series that highlights the lowlights of the music scene during the last couple of years. It will serve as a reminder than it was, can, and will be worse.

1.

To kick off volume one of Really Bad Music, I want to introduce you to Millionaires. This female trio started in ’07 – ’08 and they actually pre-date Ke$ha. It could be argued these girls started the trend of “Slut Pop” before Ke$ha took it mainstream. This is their song, appropriately named, Alcohol.

2.

Soulja Boy was never known for thought-provoking lyrics, but his early songs were at least catchy and the lyrics were somewhat bearable. Now he’s trying to transition beyond teen hiphop, but instead of developing more sophisticated lyrics, he’s regressing to the level of a mental patient. In his new song, “Pretty Boy Swag” not only does it have inane lyrics but it also sounds like Soulja Boy is having an asthma attack during the chorus.

3.

Brokencyde is a “crunkcore” group. Crunkcore is basically a bizarro combination of crunk-hiphop and screaming emo rock. These guys have gotten so much hate from the critics, they’ve thankfully struggled to get in a decent rotation on the radio. But beware, these guys and similar groups are lurking on the fringes of mainstream music. If one of these groups has a “Ke$ha” like breakthrough, then you can bet the rest of the pack of wolves will come running through the gates. In meantime, be very afraid of the impending doom that is exemplified in “Freaxxx“.

4.

Okay Miley Cyrus is an easy target. But for this one, it’s not so much that the music is terrible. It’s just the music video is all-kinds-of-wrong for her age and image. You can’t wear leather S&M clothes, rubbing against guys & girls, and writhing on the ground sexually, and then a few hours later go tape an episode of Hanna Montana. It’s not sexy, it just confuses most guys. It’s like seeing your younger sister in your mom’s makeup kit, wearing an oversized bra. Miley should at least wait until she finishes doing her Disney obligations before trying to appeal to adult males. But I guess she Can’t Be Tamed

5.

Insane Clown Posse has been around for a long long time and just never seem to go away completely. They’re not household names but they have had some mainstream success with a couple of their albums selling over a million copies. That’s right, a million copies. You’re probably thinking “so what?”, but after you watch this video you’re going to be dumbfounded on how they sold any copies beyond their immediate family.

To their credit, this is suppose to be an “inspirational” song. But when you have lyrics like:
“Water, fire, air, and dirt…”
“Fucking magnets, how do they work?”

… it just hurts your brain. They have good intentions, but they have the intellectual understanding of a 2 year-old. Also, while I realize the clown makeup is part of their shtick, it makes it hard to take them seriously when they’re attempting to be introspective. Feast upon the Miracles that must have occurred for this video to get made.

Keily Williams’s New “Spectacular” Music Video

At one point or another, if you’re living in the U.S., you’ve probably come across The Cheetah Girls, a Disney Channel group of girl singers. They consist of Sabrina Bryan, Keily Williams, Raven-Symone, and Adrienne Baillon.  The group, which was formed in 2005 and disbanded in 2009, appealed exactly to their targeted demographic – preteen girls (the soundtrack to their first movie apparently sold over 2 million copies. Wha?!). With movies filled with numbers, girl  power, friendship, and moral, these singers certainly became role models for young girls.

It took me by surprise when I recently saw Keily Williams’s newly released music video “Spectacular” because the message of the video was just the opposite of all that The Cheetah Girls represented.

Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

Last I remember I was face down
Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off
Even though I’m not sure of his name
He could get it again if he wanted
Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular (yeaaah)
The sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular

To state the obvious, the song is about having a one-night stand with someone you don’t remember, and you don’t even know how it happened, but the sex was just so great, prior to that was okay in her book (er, how did she even remember how the sex felt if she couldn’t remember much of that night?).

The rest of the lyrics were just as bad, if not more. The video itself is full of fail. First is her attire, which just screams ‘hooker’. Then, there’s a scene where she wakes up the morning after, not knowing where her bra is, all the while there is a butt-naked man full exposed lying beside her. And then there’s her dancing. She’s a great dancer, but then again, there’s a difference between sexy (see: Beyonce) and trashy, and this was definitely trashy.

What happened to being a Cheetah Girl? Didn’t they say they would always be a Cheetah Girl, even when the group is no more?

Reading the comments by YouTubers, they pretty much felt the same way. And so much backlash has been given to this video that Keily felt the need to respond to it, which you can view here. Here’s an excerpt:

I really just want to say, you know, sometimes to me, music can be as simple as a story relayed or imagined or elaborated. Not every song has a greater message to the world. Not every song is “we are the world.” It’s a great song. Sometimes a song can “I kissed a girl, and I liked it.” That’s great too, you know.

She goes on to talk about being a Cheetah Girl and how she’s just a messenger for this type of situation.

My beef then goes from “wow, these are horrible lyrics” to “wait, she doesn’t even believe in the songs that she sings?”

Pop Music Pronounced Dead…

… Cause of Death: Kesha

First off, let me say I’m aware that usually the first sign that you’re getting old is when all the songs on the radio begin to “suck”. More often than not, music isn’t getting worse, you’re just getting old. The “good” days of music is almost always the era that you grew up in. Ten years from now people will be saying, “Oh why can’t they make real music like Soulja Boy anymore!?”

Also every era of music has its performers who were more image than substance. Spice Girls in the ’90s, Debbie Gibson in the ’80s, and just about every boy band in existence fall into that category. Heck, 60% of pop music falls into that category.

Having said all of that… Kesha still sucks even by those standards!

She sucks in such a horrific and unprecedented fashion that she sets a new low for the over-produced under-talented segment of the music industry. Kesha even makes Britney Spears look like a musical genius on the level of Mozart (okay, maybe not).

So it’s ironic that Kesha recently was trashing Britney Spears for lip-syncing. But judging by Kesha’s own live performances, maybe she should lip-sync since she struggles to sing even her own simplistic songs. I’ve seen high school talent shows with people who could sing and perform better.

Her studio recordings, artistically, aren’t much better. Her vocals are heavily over-produced even by today’s auto-tune standards. Underneath all that production there really isn’t much of a singing voice or talent at all.  Her lyrics range from mildly amusing to mind numbingly idiotic and shallow. Some of the actual music is catchy and has a decent beat but that’s more a credit to Kesha’s producers than her.

It seems her primary job is to maintain her image of being a trashy drunken slut that’s “real”. She’s basically a Las Vegas trip on infinite loop.

Despite the title of this post, there actually is some good pop music out there. Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and a few others all have a good degree of talent to go along with their image.

I’m just worried that Kesha is setting the bar so low that we’re going to get a flood of copycat no-talent “personalities” taking up space from legitimate artist. Look, there’s always been an epic battle in pop music between the factions of talent vs. image. The successful acts usually had a good mix of both. But Kesha threatens to tip the scales tremendously in favor of the no talent hacks.

But I have a feeling Ke$ha couldn’t care less…

America’s Sweetheart turns Glamour

The cover issue of Elle magazine is none other than Taylor Swift. Here are the photos from the shoot:

First off, I should say that I’m a huge fan of her songs … that weren’t introduced on the radio. The song “Love Song” and “Teardrops on my Guitar” makes my ear bleed. The lyrics are so corny and on-the-surface, they have made no real impact for me. It is songs like “Breathe”, “The Way I Loved You”, and “Fearless” are songs that have made me respect her as a singer/songwriter.

As a person, Taylor Swift seems to annoy me. Obviously, like any celebrity, we as bystanders only know such a high profile person from what is being said and portrayed through media. And through the media, Taylor Swift seems like the girl next door who is just the perfect little angel.

Being a fan that I am, I kept my eye out for her in the media, and eventually my likeness for her dispersed. Through the whole Kanye West fiasco and the Joe Jonas incident, she seems like a whiny girl always playing the victim.

During the Kanye West incident, it took her forever to stop bringing it up in interviews and such. I’m not saying what Kanye did was appropriate at all, far from it. But some things you just gotta let go! And with the Joe Jonas and the 27 second breakup issue, she continued to harass him in public over and over and over again. We get it, he’s a douche. Now, move on and focus on your new beau, which I believe is the other Taylor.

I suppose my little rant was my way to ease into my opinions on the photo shoot. I adore the photos! It steps away from her usual “goody-goody” glitter-sparkle dresses (I was getting really sick and tired of those glittery dresses) and more roughed up.

Ironically enough, the cover of this April 2010 issue has her in a gray sparkling dress. Gag.

The tiking and the Toking

If you listen to the radio, you’ve probably heard the song ‘Tik Tok’ by Ke$ha, even if you were unaware of the title of the song or the upcoming artist.

How would you know? If the female singer’s voice annoys you as she sings/talks, if the female singer’s singing seems ordinary, if the singer isn’t even singing, then you know the song I’m talking about.

It seems that Ke$ha (and anyone else annoyed by the dollar sign in her name?) has been trying to make it in the music industry for a while now, and finally got her breakthrough during the early parts of 2009, according to Wikipedia (yeah I know I should try to find more reliable sources but seeing as I don’t care much for this ‘artist’, Wiki is better than nothing).  Her debut song, Tik Tok, has been numero uno on iTunes for weeks now, and is definitely getting playtime on the radio.

What irks me about her after listening to her debut single is that she seems talentless. Her voice is whiny, which anyone who can speak can do, and when she sings, there’s nothing oh-so-spectacular about it. There are tons of talented musicians and singers that deserve that record label instead of her, and yet here she is. Why?!

Okay, perhaps it’s because she has the physical appearance that will make money for the record label. But then, as I start browsing the web for a picture of her that is appealing, all I could find were images similar to this:

Oh yeah, she’s definitely a hottie. Not. Perhaps that’s why in all her photos, half her face is covered behind hair and glitter.

Then, there’s this sense that she’s already famous before she has even debuted her album. Money signs replacing the “S” in her name? Glitter? Can she express her reasons for being in the music industry any further?

If anyone would care to explain the appeal of this Kesha who has a money sign in her name, if not for the looks or the talent, I’m all ears.