Posts Tagged ‘ Hanna Montana ’

Really Bad Music Vol. 1

The other day I was speaking with a friend about the sad state of pop music. We tried to pin-point the artists who were responsible for turning the radio into a bad auto-tune keroke machine.

As you may know, here on The Hater Post, Ke$ha is a popular target. But upon further reflection, I realized she is merely a spoke in the large wheel of bad music.

So I decided to start a series that highlights the lowlights of the music scene during the last couple of years. It will serve as a reminder than it was, can, and will be worse.

1.

To kick off volume one of Really Bad Music, I want to introduce you to Millionaires. This female trio started in ’07 – ’08 and they actually pre-date Ke$ha. It could be argued these girls started the trend of “Slut Pop” before Ke$ha took it mainstream. This is their song, appropriately named, Alcohol.

2.

Soulja Boy was never known for thought-provoking lyrics, but his early songs were at least catchy and the lyrics were somewhat bearable. Now he’s trying to transition beyond teen hiphop, but instead of developing more sophisticated lyrics, he’s regressing to the level of a mental patient. In his new song, “Pretty Boy Swag” not only does it have inane lyrics but it also sounds like Soulja Boy is having an asthma attack during the chorus.

3.

Brokencyde is a “crunkcore” group. Crunkcore is basically a bizarro combination of crunk-hiphop and screaming emo rock. These guys have gotten so much hate from the critics, they’ve thankfully struggled to get in a decent rotation on the radio. But beware, these guys and similar groups are lurking on the fringes of mainstream music. If one of these groups has a “Ke$ha” like breakthrough, then you can bet the rest of the pack of wolves will come running through the gates. In meantime, be very afraid of the impending doom that is exemplified in “Freaxxx“.

4.

Okay Miley Cyrus is an easy target. But for this one, it’s not so much that the music is terrible. It’s just the music video is all-kinds-of-wrong for her age and image. You can’t wear leather S&M clothes, rubbing against guys & girls, and writhing on the ground sexually, and then a few hours later go tape an episode of Hanna Montana. It’s not sexy, it just confuses most guys. It’s like seeing your younger sister in your mom’s makeup kit, wearing an oversized bra. Miley should at least wait until she finishes doing her Disney obligations before trying to appeal to adult males. But I guess she Can’t Be Tamed

5.

Insane Clown Posse has been around for a long long time and just never seem to go away completely. They’re not household names but they have had some mainstream success with a couple of their albums selling over a million copies. That’s right, a million copies. You’re probably thinking “so what?”, but after you watch this video you’re going to be dumbfounded on how they sold any copies beyond their immediate family.

To their credit, this is suppose to be an “inspirational” song. But when you have lyrics like:
“Water, fire, air, and dirt…”
“Fucking magnets, how do they work?”

… it just hurts your brain. They have good intentions, but they have the intellectual understanding of a 2 year-old. Also, while I realize the clown makeup is part of their shtick, it makes it hard to take them seriously when they’re attempting to be introspective. Feast upon the Miracles that must have occurred for this video to get made.