Posts Tagged ‘ music ’

Really Bad Music Vol. 1

The other day I was speaking with a friend about the sad state of pop music. We tried to pin-point the artists who were responsible for turning the radio into a bad auto-tune keroke machine.

As you may know, here on The Hater Post, Ke$ha is a popular target. But upon further reflection, I realized she is merely a spoke in the large wheel of bad music.

So I decided to start a series that highlights the lowlights of the music scene during the last couple of years. It will serve as a reminder than it was, can, and will be worse.

1.

To kick off volume one of Really Bad Music, I want to introduce you to Millionaires. This female trio started in ’07 – ’08 and they actually pre-date Ke$ha. It could be argued these girls started the trend of “Slut Pop” before Ke$ha took it mainstream. This is their song, appropriately named, Alcohol.

2.

Soulja Boy was never known for thought-provoking lyrics, but his early songs were at least catchy and the lyrics were somewhat bearable. Now he’s trying to transition beyond teen hiphop, but instead of developing more sophisticated lyrics, he’s regressing to the level of a mental patient. In his new song, “Pretty Boy Swag” not only does it have inane lyrics but it also sounds like Soulja Boy is having an asthma attack during the chorus.

3.

Brokencyde is a “crunkcore” group. Crunkcore is basically a bizarro combination of crunk-hiphop and screaming emo rock. These guys have gotten so much hate from the critics, they’ve thankfully struggled to get in a decent rotation on the radio. But beware, these guys and similar groups are lurking on the fringes of mainstream music. If one of these groups has a “Ke$ha” like breakthrough, then you can bet the rest of the pack of wolves will come running through the gates. In meantime, be very afraid of the impending doom that is exemplified in “Freaxxx“.

4.

Okay Miley Cyrus is an easy target. But for this one, it’s not so much that the music is terrible. It’s just the music video is all-kinds-of-wrong for her age and image. You can’t wear leather S&M clothes, rubbing against guys & girls, and writhing on the ground sexually, and then a few hours later go tape an episode of Hanna Montana. It’s not sexy, it just confuses most guys. It’s like seeing your younger sister in your mom’s makeup kit, wearing an oversized bra. Miley should at least wait until she finishes doing her Disney obligations before trying to appeal to adult males. But I guess she Can’t Be Tamed

5.

Insane Clown Posse has been around for a long long time and just never seem to go away completely. They’re not household names but they have had some mainstream success with a couple of their albums selling over a million copies. That’s right, a million copies. You’re probably thinking “so what?”, but after you watch this video you’re going to be dumbfounded on how they sold any copies beyond their immediate family.

To their credit, this is suppose to be an “inspirational” song. But when you have lyrics like:
“Water, fire, air, and dirt…”
“Fucking magnets, how do they work?”

… it just hurts your brain. They have good intentions, but they have the intellectual understanding of a 2 year-old. Also, while I realize the clown makeup is part of their shtick, it makes it hard to take them seriously when they’re attempting to be introspective. Feast upon the Miracles that must have occurred for this video to get made.

Pop Music Pronounced Dead…

… Cause of Death: Kesha

First off, let me say I’m aware that usually the first sign that you’re getting old is when all the songs on the radio begin to “suck”. More often than not, music isn’t getting worse, you’re just getting old. The “good” days of music is almost always the era that you grew up in. Ten years from now people will be saying, “Oh why can’t they make real music like Soulja Boy anymore!?”

Also every era of music has its performers who were more image than substance. Spice Girls in the ’90s, Debbie Gibson in the ’80s, and just about every boy band in existence fall into that category. Heck, 60% of pop music falls into that category.

Having said all of that… Kesha still sucks even by those standards!

She sucks in such a horrific and unprecedented fashion that she sets a new low for the over-produced under-talented segment of the music industry. Kesha even makes Britney Spears look like a musical genius on the level of Mozart (okay, maybe not).

So it’s ironic that Kesha recently was trashing Britney Spears for lip-syncing. But judging by Kesha’s own live performances, maybe she should lip-sync since she struggles to sing even her own simplistic songs. I’ve seen high school talent shows with people who could sing and perform better.

Her studio recordings, artistically, aren’t much better. Her vocals are heavily over-produced even by today’s auto-tune standards. Underneath all that production there really isn’t much of a singing voice or talent at all. ┬áHer lyrics range from mildly amusing to mind numbingly idiotic and shallow. Some of the actual music is catchy and has a decent beat but that’s more a credit to Kesha’s producers than her.

It seems her primary job is to maintain her image of being a trashy drunken slut that’s “real”. She’s basically a Las Vegas trip on infinite loop.

Despite the title of this post, there actually is some good pop music out there. Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and a few others all have a good degree of talent to go along with their image.

I’m just worried that Kesha is setting the bar so low that we’re going to get a flood of copycat no-talent “personalities” taking up space from legitimate artist. Look, there’s always been an epic battle in pop music between the factions of talent vs. image. The successful acts usually had a good mix of both. But Kesha threatens to tip the scales tremendously in favor of the no talent hacks.

But I have a feeling Ke$ha couldn’t care less…